06 Aug How to mourn love
The return of the good weather encourages joy and closer love. However, some of you also know the pain of separation and experience this sometimes violent break in their daily lives with great difficulty. To get over it, you need to mourn your loss. Who hasn’t felt that sense of emptiness andabandonment ? We remember the good times with nostalgia, and mourn what’s gone. It is necessary to get out of this state of reverence for the past in order to regain control of one’s emotional and psychological life. The aim of mourning is to achieve indifference towards your ex, and to stop projecting yourself into a hypothetical life together. It’s possible to still have feelings for someone, especially if you weren’t responsible for the breakup, while no longer projecting yourself as a couple. Grieving is a process made up of several distinct stages of which you need to be aware. The announcement of a break-up is often an emotional shock because, even when there have been major arguments or warning signs, we often close our eyes to avoid seeing the inevitable. In some cases, the reaction to this brutal announcement may be to try and win back the customer. We do everything in our power to try to win your loved one back. You have to be realistic and realize that the person in front of you has made a firm and irrevocable decision. Denying it only serves to make us dependent on the imaginary relationship we continue to nurture at all costs. The “neglected” person must truly realize that the relationship is really over. Then comes a feeling of fear: fear of loneliness, but also fear of not being able to cope materially. At that point, people react differently. Some feel angry and blame the other person, while others go into a state of depression. state of depression and brood over their guilt. Others become hermits or intoxicate themselves in ephemeral relationships. All these stages are necessary to move forward on the road to healing, and even if they seem to take longer or shorter, they won’t last forever. There are no rules, they can take longer than others, and sometimes some people get stuck in a state of anger or depression. That’s when you need professional help to get through the ordeal. There’s no shame in getting support. Many positive reactions to moving forward would be, for example, to take time for yourself, to do activities you didn’t have time for before, to see people you no longer know, to realize that you can be happy on your own. A few tricks are also useful to desacralize the past relationship more quickly: make a list of the other’s faults and the reasons that led to the separation, or remove from your immediate view all mementos of good times, such as photos, gifts… The key to healing is rebuilding and regaining self-confidence. Outside help, such as psychotherapy or hypnosis sessions, may be necessary to visualize yourself as someone who is still lovable and capable of experiencing feelings again. Embarking on a new relationship at this point would most certainly serve as a Band-Aid and not allow for any deeper healing. Although it may seem old-fashioned, “give it time” is a very pertinent proverb. Once this period of rebuilding is over, you’ll be strong and confident enough to look around you and look forward to a new relationship with peace of mind.