27 Jan The wound of abandon leads to dependence
Our thoughts, words, actions and relationships with others are conditioned by existential wounds.
They were first identified by American psychiatrist John Pierrakos. Lise Bourbeau, a Canadian therapist, took them up again in her international bestseller, “The 5 Soul Wounds that Prevent You from Being Yourself”. There are 5 soul wounds: rejection rejectionabandonment, humiliation, betrayal and injustice.
They are often inherited from our parents and follow us from childhood.
People who suffer from the wound ofabandonment feel they always need someone to support and help them.
This wound is thought to have originated in childhood, when the opposite-sex parent didn’t communicate or nurture her emotionally enough.
As she grows older, she develops relationships of emotional dependence, attachmentattachment disordersShe literally clings to the people she loves.
The addict runs a high risk of becoming a victim.
In other words, they unconsciously put themselves in situations where they find themselves in difficulty, in order to draw attention to themselves.
He dramatizes everything, and the slightest difficulty seems insurmountable.
Having frequent problems helps him avoid feeling abandoned, as it attracts the attention he feels he deserves.
However, the addict quickly falls into a vicious circle.
The more he positions himself as a victim, the more he feels the wound of abandonment.
At first, he feels happy and serene when he draws attention to himself, but before long, he’s back to brooding.
The addict needs the approval and support of others to make a decision.
If he feels supported, he will feel valued and helped.
He generally dislikes individual activities, as here too he needs to be accompanied and held by the hand.
He often asks for other people’s opinions and prefers to be in a follower’s position, so that others continue to look after him and don’t leave him alone.
In fact, his greatest fear is loneliness.
He can’t imagine making his own decisions and living on his own.
Dependent people often feel sad, and need to be surrounded so as not to experience this emotion, which is unbearable for them.
They often cry about their difficulties and accuse others of not caring enough.
If she shows interest in someone, she’ll expect affection in return.
She doesn’t realize that she doesn’t really care about others, and that she herself isn’t unfailingly supportive. There are several keys to healing this wound and finally living by yourself and for yourself. You have to be able to forgive yourself for being abandoned, and forgive others for abandoning you.
Once this step has been taken, the wounded person will have to accept that they too can give up, and that they are once again at risk of being abandoned.
Professional support, such as that provided by a hypnotherapist, will enable them to feel at ease on their own and implement projects independently, without constantly depending on others.